It seems that everyone else knows the secret to making marriages last—everyone except for us.
It seems that speculation abounds as to which relationships and marriages will last for any length of time, and for how long.
Everyone has ideas about what it takes to have lasting lifelong love, and what should and should not be taking place in a couple’s life for a relationship to be healthy.
But, what does it take to keep love and a marriage strong?
Now, I know there are a plethora of helpful books, articles and blogs written that discuss just this topic. I should know—I have been reading these since the beginning of our marriage. Well before that, if I’m being honest.
Countless references, I couldn’t even begin to guess how many, from every angle and perspective—religious, spiritual, psychological—and from couples that want to share how they made it to 10, 15, 20, or however many years. I have really appreciated all that they had to say, and I still read them, but from a very different perspective—one where I look to see if we live or have applied any of the suggestions they have made.
It’s dizzying to keep up with it all.
Yu know how it goes…the proper way of conducting yourself during the dating phase, best types of premarital counseling, making sure to stay in shape, always looking your best, saying I love you, not going to bed angry, having date nights, keeping sex alive, developing your own interests, having time apart to miss each other, learning each other’s love languages and so many other dos and don’ts.
Some of these things we’ve done and some we haven’t, and I know that some would definitely not work for us and that we understand some concepts entirely differently than another couple who reads them.
As I sit here, 30 years into a marriage with a man that I adore and love more than I adequately know how to put into words, I can’t honestly give an answer as to how we have been together all these years. All I know is that I love him with every fiber of my being: body, soul and spirit!
Love is more important to me than anything else that this world has to offer, it will be all that will matter to me in the end.
I asked my husband the same question: How have we been married 30 years after marrying so young? His response brought me to my knees, though I’m not sure it provided any clear answers. I’ll let you be the judge.
Click here to read the letter my husband wrote in response [published on Elephant Journal]
Peace,
MAD
MAD Hippies Life 
That’s the most beautiful letter… So heart warming it takes a lot in a relationship but you’ll make it look like its a walk in the park… ❤
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Thank you so much for your beautiful comment! Relationships are definitely work and ours is no different, but we love each other very much and make it a point to give it our best every day. It is so worth it!! ❤
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That is just the sweetest thing! For me & my hubby – communication is EVERYTHING!
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Absolutely touching! My husband and I have been together for 14 years, since high school and it’s such a great journey. Wishing you MANY MANY MANY more decades of love!
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You have such a loving husband who adores and cares for you with such passion. The love that you have for each other and your marriage are gifts that I’m certain you both cherish. I wish my dad were like that to my Mom. Keep the it stronger, I’ll be rooting for you two.
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How sweet that he wrote you the letter. My husband and I have been married for 6 years now.
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Aww this is a beautiful thing to happen – Not all relationships experience such especially when you get together at a young age – so wonderful!
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My goodness, this is absolutely lovely. I wish all husbands and wives got along and respected and loved each other the way you and your husband do!
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Omg!!! What a beautifully fantastic letter. Just loved ittt ❤❤❤
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Your husband’s letter is heartwarming. Congrats on 30 years together!
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Congrats on 30 years! Many of us look up to you :)… Very touching post.
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“from the cosmic collision that now has expanded into a universe surrounding the light of our passion”… those are some pretty amazing words. Great blog post… thanks for sharing it with your readers.
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What a beautiful loving letter, you can see the admiration and respect which is amazing to see in todays world
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I am always very humbled and happy to hear and meet people who have been together for such a long time, my parents will be celebrating 30 years soon too and it was never easy even though they made it look easy. These days we into not really working for it but more into if we get bored we off to find something new which is sad but is happening
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That was amazing. Gave me goosebumps and made me only hope that I can make it 30 years with my husband and we still have the same love if not more for eachother! (:
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This was great. Gave me goosebumps. I can only hope to make it 30 years with my husband and have the same amount of love if not more as we do now! (: So touching.
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Awww this was just the sweetest thing for him to do. Happy 30 years 🙂
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Congratulations on 30 years together! That was a very heartfelt letter.
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Beautiful! I’m 7 years in and looking forward to what’s to come! Congrats on 30 years!!! 🙂
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I so loved reading his letter to you. It is so beautiful and shows his true love for you. Congrats on the 30 yrs together. Thanks for sharing.
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Congratulations on being married for Thirty Years. This is a beautiful post. Thank you for sharing.
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Congrats on 30 years! Thanks for sharing your experience!
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WHATTT! That letter is full of energy and expression, and just plain beautiful. Love the way your husband answered the question. If only mine answered with such a lovely letter (lol). It’s just breath-taking how he describes the way he felt throughout the different phases of your lives together, and when he’s describing what he loves about you. Such a special letter!
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What a milestone – congratulations! I saw the movie Gone Girl last weekend and some people just don’t know how to have a healthy marriage… oh my!
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What a beautiful and heart warming letter. Congratulations on 30 years!
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What a lovely piece. I hope myself and Mr. Mashed Up make it this many years. We’re babies compared to you too. Keep going y’all.
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What a gift he gave to have written that. I hope you have another 30 years at least!
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What a wonderful treasure he gave your. That’s an anniversary gift of a lifetime (whether it was meant to be or not).
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Congratulations on 30 wonderful years. This was such a beautiful letter, the greatest gift he could give you apart from his love of course 🙂
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What a wonderful, sweet letter! Happy anniversary!
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You should never have to ask. It shouldn’t be a wonder or a surprise. You both know how much work you put into your relationship so don’t look back and keep pushing forward into more happiness!
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Aw…how amazing! My husband and I will have our 20 year next summer and i’ve often asked my aunt how she and my uncle have made it for over 40 years and she always tells me you have to fake it during those hard times when you don’t feel it until you do feel it again.
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What a sweet letter. Congrats on 30 years !
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What a sweet letter. Happy 30 years !
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That letter… wow. Who knew a man was capable of describing feelings in such a way. You are one lucky gal!
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30 years is a big deal, and I know it aint easy. I was married at 19 so I’ll be married 10 years before I turn 30! We’re on year 9 and it’s not always a walk in the park. But it’s worth it.
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I’ve been married three years and it surely is a journey! Every day is different but it is nice to have a partner in crime.
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